Learn To Treat It Well

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The silhouette of a teenage boy sitting and praying at the end of a tunnel with a bright light at the end.

As adults we should treat each other well. It does not mean that we are always right. Without a doubt, self-criticism is healthy, if it is respectful and productive. But in the case of our Child, it is important that we are always on his side, no matter what happens. Because he is a damaged part of us, he has no responsibility for what he lived through. Now it is our responsibility to take care of it.

Learn to accept it as it is. Surely acceptance is a basic need. Especially its darkest or most hostile parts.

Learn to listen and understand it. That is, pay attention to their discomfort, needs and what they are going through.

Learn to calm and comfort him when he feels bad. “I am here with you”, “what you are feeling are emotions that will pass”. And offer directions to regulate his emotions. “We’re going to let a little time pass. Then we will think about what is the best thing you can do.”

Teach him what behaviors are best for him. For example, you can invite him not to withdraw in a social interaction, to start showing up at his rhythm…

Teach him to think with more perspective. When you notice that he is criticizing himself or drawing intense or excessive conclusions, you can help him think. “Possibly they are not paying attention to you for some reason that has nothing to do with you, do you think if we dare to meet them and if they hurt us we protect ourselves. But maybe in the end they are worth it.

Learn to nurture and value it. In other words, to value their virtues and successes. And put aside criticism or destructive demand.

Protect him: look for good and safe scenarios for him. With safe, kind and eager to share people. And protect him from the aggression of others, setting limits.

Help him heal his wounds

  • Learn to give him “something” of what he needed and did not get. We cannot go back to the past and repair what happened. But we can somehow offer you restorative experiences today. In addition to treating you right, which is in itself possibly giving you a lot of what you didn’t get, we can help you even more. For example, if as children they were very strict with us, they did not let us play much; today we can look for playful activities in which we consciously make our Child have fun. Or if he was alone for a long time, we can look for good membership groups and not leave him alone for a long time.
  • Learn to recognize and healing your wounds with messages of love. If you want, you can look for special moments in which to attend to him when he is ill. For example: “I understand you, you did not have a good time, for this or another reason”. From psychology, we know that part of the healing process of people is related to the recognition of damage. That is when someone helps us put words to what happened. “That was not good, you had a bad time, and I’m with you now.”

Letter to the Inner Child

Here we leave you a nice letter for your inner Child; we hope that it can serve as an orientation for you to start taking care of it. Although it talks about generic things that many of us have experienced, we encourage you to personalize your own letter. From the knowledge of your history, of what you have experienced, a unique and special letter. As unique and special as the Inner Child with whom you live, since surely, he will be delighted to receive it. Without a doubt, learning to take care of your inner Child is not a one-day journey. But we think it’s worth it. If you need help to navigate it, we offer you our psychotherapy service.

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